Kalbėtis su vaikais apie seksą ir seksualinę sveikatą daugeliui tėvų gali būti nepatogu, ir sunku žinoti, kaip tinkamai tai padaryti. Tačiau atvira ir sąžininga komunikacija yra būtina jų supratimui ir gerovei. Seksualumas yra esminė žmogaus dalis, ir kuo anksčiau vaikai supranta tokias sąvokas kaip sutikimas ir saugaus sekso praktikos, tuo geriau jie bus pasirengę atsakingai tvarkytis su savo santykiais. Žinoma, egzistuoja amžių atitinkančios kalbėjimosi apie seksą ir su juo susijusias temas metodikos, todėl nebūtina su darželio amžiaus vaikais kalbėtis apie kontraceptikus, pavyzdžiui. Šiame tinklaraštyje pateiksime patarimus, kaip turėti amžių atitinkančius pokalbius su pradinių klasių vaikais apie seksą ir seksualinę sveikatą.
Kokios su seksu susijusios temos yra tinkamos pradinių klasių vaikams?
Kai kalbama apie su seksu susijusių temų aptarimą su pradinių klasių vaikais, svarbu pokalbyje naudoti jų amžiui tinkamą informaciją. Pagrindinis tikslas, kalbantis su mažais vaikais apie seksą, yra suteikti tvirtą pagrindą visapusiškam seksualiniam švietimui ilgalaikėje perspektyvoje. Štai keletas temų, kurias verta pradėti:
Kūno dalys
Prieš aptariant bet ką kitą, vaikas turi turėti žodyną, kuris leistų išreikšti ir suprasti seksualinę sveikatą. Venkite naudoti eufemizmus genitalijoms apibūdinti, o vietoj to naudokite anatomiškai teisingus terminus, tokius kaip penis, sėklidės, vulva ir vagina. Tai padeda nuimti stigmas nuo šių žodžių. AmazeJr for Kids ir Advocates for Youth turi naudingų šaltinių apie kūno dalis.
Reprodukcija
Reprodukcija yra pagrindinis žmogaus egzistavimo dalykas; būtent dėl jos egzistuoja seksas. Todėl tai yra esminė tema, kurią reikia aptarti nuo mažens. Kalbant apie reprodukciją su mažais vaikais, nereikia įsigilinti į grafines detales, bet galite dalytis pagrindiniais faktais. Pavyzdžiui, tai gali būti aptariama, jei kažkas iš vaiko pažįstamų pastoja. Rekomenduojame šį vadovą iš Planned Parenthood ir šį vaikų knygų rinkinį apie nėštumą vaikams.
Lytinė tapatybė ir seksualumas
Kalbant su vaikais apie lytinę tapatybę ir seksualumą, galite supažindinti juos su lyties, skirtingų seksualinių orientacijų ir įvardžių sąvokomis. Tai gali pareikalauti, kad iš naujo įvertintumėte savo pačių šališkumus ir žinių trūkumus, todėl turėtumėte išsilavinti prieš pristatant šias sąvokas vaikui. Pavyzdžiui, tai gali būti aktualu, jei vaikas pats abejoja savo lytine tapatybe ar seksualumu, arba jei klasės draugas pasiskelbia esąs kitas nei heteroseksualus. Gender Spectrum ir Sex Positive Families turi naudingų šaltinių apie lyties ir seksualines tapatybes.
Sutikimas ir kūno autonomija
Sutikimas ir kūno autonomija yra esminės temos, kurias reikia aptarti, nes jos yra aktualios ne tik seksualiniame kontekste. Vaikai turėtų suprasti, kaip gerbti ir komunikuoti asmenines ribas. Paaiškinkite, kad kiekvienas turi teisę sakyti „ne“ nepageidaujamam fiziniam kontaktui ir kad svarbu prašyti leidimo prieš liečiant kitą žmogų. Pavyzdžiui, tai gali būti aktualu, kai kalbama apie apkabinimus su bendraamžiais. Consent at Every Age by Harvard ir My Space, Your Space yra puikūs ištekliai, kuriuos verta peržiūrėti.
Kaip padaryti pokalbį prieinamą ir patogų?
Kai jau žinote, apie ką reikia kalbėti, vis tiek galite nežinoti, kaip šią informaciją perteikti efektyviai. Štai keletas rekomendacijų, kaip kreiptis į šiuos pokalbius.
1. Naudokite išorinius šaltinius, tokius kaip knygos ir vaizdo įrašai.
Pokalbiai apie šias temas gali atrodyti bauginantys, nes jūs patys galbūt nesijaučiate pakankamai pasirengę ar žinote pakankamai, kad mokytumėte vaiką. Laimei, yra daugybė išteklių, skirtų mokyti tiek jus, tiek jūsų vaiką, įskaitant šiuos, sukurtus Amaze ir Planned Parenthood.
- Vaikams, kurie domisi seksualine orientacija, rekomenduojame šiuos šaltinius iš Families of LGBTQ+ People – PFLAG NYC.
- Klausimams apie kūno pokyčius ir brendimą apsvarstykite šį vadovą iš Planned Parenthood.
- Klausimams apie nėštumą ir gimdymą apsvarstykite šį išteklių iš Advocates for Youth.
Jei vis dar jaučiatės nepasiruošę aptarti šias temas su savo vaiku, apsvarstykite galimybę pasikonsultuoti su seksualinio švietimo specialistu, kuris galėtų suteikti jums konkretesnių patarimų ir palaikymo.
2. Būkite atviri, neteisiantys ir įtraukiantys.
Pagrindinis šių pokalbių su vaiku tikslas turėtų būti užtikrinti, kad jūs esate saugus asmuo, į kurį jie gali kreiptis su klausimais ir problemomis, susijusiomis su seksu ir kūnu, per visą jų vystymąsi. Skatinant jų smalsumą, kalbant be priekaištų ir teikiant išsilavinimą, kuris atsižvelgia į įvairias seksualines ir lytines tapatybes, galite paskatinti vaiką ilgainiui jaustis patogiai kreipiantis į jus su klausimais ir problemomis.
Pavyzdžiui, galbūt ilgainiui jūsų vaikas kels klausimus apie savo seksualinę orientaciją, o tai dažnai kelia baimę dėl atstūmimo iš artimųjų. Jei aiškiai parodysite, kad esate priimantis ir neteisiantis, jie greičiausiai ateis pas jus, kai naršys savęs atradimo procese. Šiuo atveju pirmiausia įsitikinkite, kad jie žino, jog mylite ir palaikote juos, nesvarbu, kaip jie save identifikuoja. Tada, jei jie norės apie tai pasikalbėti, leiskite jiems vadovauti pokalbiui ir dalytis tuo, kuo jie jaučiasi patogiai. Galiausiai galite pasiūlyti jiems išteklių, tokių kaip vaizdo įrašai, knygos, palaikymo grupės ir galimybė kalbėtis su LGBTQ+ suaugusiaisiais jūsų gyvenime.
3. Naudokite kasdienes galimybes.
Kasdieniniame gyvenime neabejotinai atsiras progų aptarti pagrindines sąvokas su savo vaiku. Pavyzdžiui, jei kažkas iš jūsų šeimos gyvenimo pastoja, galite pasinaudoti šia galimybe paaiškinti, kaip gimsta kūdikiai.
Atviri ir sąžiningi pokalbiai su vaikais apie seksą ir seksualinę sveikatą yra esminiai jų supratimui, gerovei ir gebėjimui atsakingai tvarkytis pasaulyje. Nors šie pokalbiai gali būti nepatogūs ar sudėtingi tėvams, jie suteiks jūsų vaikui žinių ir įgūdžių, reikalingų sveikai ir užtikrintai valdyti seksualinę sveikatą ir santykius. Ką daryti, jei jūsų vaikas jaučia nepatogumą? Jei jūsų vaikas išreiškia, kad jam nepatogu, tai yra riba, kurią reikia gerbti. Pirma, galite pabandyti suteikti jiems galimybę pasirinkti kitą laiką ar vietą pokalbiui, kur būtų patogiau. Jei jie vis tiek atsisako, kaip ir turi teisę, galite suteikti jiems prieigą prie mokomųjų išteklių ir pabandyti vėl po kelių savaičių.
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